are you still at the devil's house?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
