apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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