i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
