but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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