I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
