So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
