the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
