Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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