Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize