Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
