party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
