Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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