I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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