It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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