whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
