Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
