I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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