So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you will always have a special place in my vag
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I had to cum in my sink.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize