I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
