No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize