wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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