i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
