I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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