But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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