I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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