do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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