Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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