this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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