what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize