Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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