this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize