just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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