so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
