Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
