Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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