dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
