Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
