If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
