I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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