I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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