Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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