dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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