I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
