How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
