I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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