he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
