And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
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You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
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The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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