She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
