I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
