would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
