I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
