i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
