Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize