dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.