wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.