You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
