I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
