ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
