just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
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How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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