i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
