I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize